International Women's Day :: My side of the story

It doesn't feel much of a difference if the day fell onto any other day of the week. Unfortunately it fell upon my first day of menstruation, which only translates into one thing - my period pain.

I had been diagnosed as having acute dysmenorrhea for several years now. It had only gone from bad to worse ever since. Every time it hits me it felt like Death itself is playing tag with me. Excruciating pain, for mothers out there I believe its an extended version of Braxton Hicks. Or God bless, the labor pain itself.




Other people often say something like "don't take pills for your pain, just hold on, it will all go away". What hurts me the most is that the ones saying that are women.

It seems that they, like many other men out there, thinks of period pain as something normal and occurs to everyone in a similar level of pain. It saddens me that...that this sort of discrimination happens among women themselves...

Imagine waking up to a strong back pain and cramping below your belly. You are shaking, you're cold, and all you want is the pain to go away. You just want to lie down and rest, but you know you had to get some help. You muster all your strength in that state to only know that nobody's there to accompany you to the clinic, and you have no transportation so you had to walk on your own - yes, with that pain in you.

You got back from the clinic, shaking heavily, fumbling with the pills the doctor gave you. You reach for a tumbler of water and tried very hard not to let it slip, because nobody's helping you with it. You swallow the pill and hope it'd all go away instantly.

But of course that did not happen.

You lie on the bed, tossing and turning. Your stomach churning and stretching and twisting inside of you mercilessly, no matter how you lie on your bed - crouching, kneeling, curling, on your side, on your back, on your tummy. Nothing alleviates it much. You're sweating, but you're really cold. You turned off all the fans in your room, leaving you writhing in your sweat and mind. Yes, mind over matter. You tried to sleep. Fortunately you felt a little drowsy, but every turn you make on your bed wakes you up with a jolt of pain under your belly.

Now you're feeling sick. You haven't been eating anything since this morning and it has been 2 hours since you had been battling your pain. You tried to force yourself to vomit. Nothing came out, but it didn't change the fact that you feel like hurling your stomach out. You saw a bread loaf you bought yesterday. You knew that the only way it'd go out is to put something in. You ate a slice, drank some water, and waited. With the excruciating pain in you still not giving up, you ran towards the sink in the bathroom and looked down into it.

Your saliva begins to feel runny and acidic. Your throat doesn't feel so good anymore. Its coming. You forced another vomit and sure enough, you vomited. A lot.

You feel a slight relieve, now that the feeling of vomiting is over you. You walk slowly back to your bed, lie down and hope you'll be okay soon. The pain is slightly alleviated, meaning that the pills are starting to work.

You lie on your side, closing your eyes, trying very hard not to stress your mind. You fell asleep soon enough, and the world dissipates into a black curtain...


***

It's not something life threatening like a cancer. It's not as popular as well. But it does hurt a lot...

I wonder why when some terminally sick people write something, they would get instant coverage, and other people will feel more sorry for them. People will start to get to know the illness by their own research, start an organization or two, and tries very hard to make these sick people feel better.

What about us, the little group of women, who seemed to suffer something 'normal' and get constantly dismissed for having something not fatal? Do we have to have something that could kill us, only then we can spread the knowledge to everyone out there?

By the way my doctor says I need to get my pelvic exams soon. I don't feel like having a telescope prodding through a hole under my navel, so I think I'll go for the ultrasound instead, if I can find a place to do that. And have someone to accompany me too.

:(

By the way, happy international women's day. I do feel womanly today. :(