Sheeet...its been a while since I woke up feeling blue. When I look around, the room looked as if I have been fucked up for weeks, sedangkan it was just last night when I cried like a baby. Maybe its because I've been so normal for so long that getting a ride on a roller coaster drives me half-nuts.
I'll be cleaning up this room spotless after this.
Last night I think Mr Computer gave me an ultimatum. Asking me what I actually want from him. A friend, more than a friend, or nobody. I actually haven't been thinking it over yet, because this wasn't the only thing that came up to me last night.
Lets call this other guy Mr SpikyHair (inside joke ftw). Not to be confused with Mr Zombie. LOL! He hadn't been completely honest with me and as do I. He came up clean last night about what's really going on with him, his girl, and probably his expectations which is none. Lol. Okay. We are those people that didn't really believe in promises, so I told him, it's not really uncommon for someone throwing away a 2 yr old relationship down the drain cuz it's been done before. I've done it before. Though I haven't been completely honest how hard it was. If it wasn't because of my friend/ex/private yet free counselor, I wouldn't have made it, I think.
I'm not saying that I'm happy that he's in a fight, though I got to be honest, I do felt a little relieved. Jahat kan. I'm such a bitch. But then again, I don't want him to keep on falling into her gravity like I did with that bastard back then. It sucks to stay without having any feelings for the other person.
BLARGH ENOUGH LOVEY DOVEY STUFF.
I haven't met the warden about the room change yet. It seems that the room he allocated to us had already been booked by a freshman. I dont want to stay in a room without Msya around. She could be annoying and sappy but she's a good roommate. Losing her for some, normal girl.... is worse than anything. I can't imagine going through the phrases again, making friends, betrayed by new friends etc.
When you're me, making friends with guys is easier than making friends with girls. Guys aren't so hard to crack. Girls are, they can hate you and drag you to the depths of hell but still keep a smile and say nice things. Guys go indifferent to girls they don't really like talking to.
Plus I have trust issues with female strangers. Don't blame me, its been too many an occasion where I've gotten myself back stabbed by girls that I've trusted.
I still hate tomatoes so damn much. :\