Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Changing Hearts

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. - Leo Tolstoy


Ramadan 1 : 11 August 2010

Another fasting month without my parents and family. Its been 3 years. Its one of those things that you can do so many times but you just simply can't get over with. It still does feel awkward, despite I'm not much of a family person. It still does...

Anyways, summing up my life for the past few days I haven't blogged about it.


Change of Hearts

Despite its notoriously weak script, Avatar : Last Airbender the Movie does have a really good line. "It is the change of hearts that will win wars."

So many times I find myself wanting to change everyone's attitude towards their studies. How they should really start taking it seriously.

A few days back I overheard a loud conversation of some ingrates in the college bus.

"Damn the lecturer, he's so boring! And he gave us lots of assignments!"
"I heard tomorrow he cancelled our class."
"Really? THANK GOD! I wanna sleep all day"
"Tomorrow we have to pass up our 's assignments though"
"Man I haven't finished yet with it, I'll do it tonight"

What ARE those people made up of?

All I wanted to do was stand up and yell at these ingrates. How could they have such attitude towards something so valuable as gaining knowledge? I know I've cringed over this many, many times before. Maybe its natural for me to feel that way because my family's made up of mostly teachers anyways. I value knowledge. These people sure aren't.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. - Maya Angelou

This quote popped up in my mind right before I started a tongue fight in the bus. I can't change the fact that some people would rather stay idiot their whole lives.

So I changed my attitude: I would need people to order around and step upon when I'm successful, right? So let idiots be idiots. They will be my stepping stones towards a better life.

Me and my fascist capitalism.


Don't do. Deliver.

Alright. All in favor of saying that I'm a proud bitch, say aye. But before you choose, let me tell you a story.

Yesterday was the first lip sync class I've ever had. It wasn't so easy, but it wasn't that hard if you put your brain to it. Unfortunately a big group of people didn't.

Mr Wuu demands a character design for our lip sync projects. He gave much liberty in how everyone looks for references to kick-start their weak, under-worked brains into it. Still I find people walking around doing nothing. Some even gets on a PC in the library and instead of looking for references, they logged into their Facebooks. Some loiters around, and some even disturbs others who's concentrating on their work. I was included in the 'disturbed' handful of people. But I don't mind all that, because Rorschach (no, not the faceless guy, its a cat formerly Memphis lolx)'s designs are finished in a few minutes. I don't mind getting irked a bit by some.....I'd rather wont write that one down.

Mr Wuu leaned close to my table, looking at the grinning Rorschach.

"Do vowels, young miss. I want to see how far you can go."

Wahhhh, is that a challenge I hear? Okay.

Soon as I get my arse working there's no stopping. I completed it, lost track of time, but I did it. Though I'm not so proud of my works so far.... well that can always be improved.

A few minutes of loitering around, Mr Wuu called for everyone to come forward with their designs.

"I can see so many of you misusing the liberty I gave to you to do your research. Some of you logged into facebooks and whatnot. Some loiter around, disturbing others who REALLY put their minds to the task at hand."

I looked around at everyone. There was this streak of silvery line I don't think anyone else could see, the lines that comes up across everyone's face when they are feeling 'the heat'. I swear I could see it so clearly I'd be painting them on canvas if I could.

The lecturer asked for my Rorschach.

"Look at this lady here. She managed to finished the character design AND the vowels. I suppose when she returns back home she could finish the consonants in no time. You see, if you concentrate on the task at hand, you CAN finish your work quickly. In the industry, completing your task efficiently and quickly with quality is a plus value."

I looked down.

"If she can do this, why can't you? Because you can't resist temptations. Temptations to waste your time."


He was right though. If only I resist my temptations, I could've finished all the vowel and consonants right there and then.

Everyone must've thought I felt good about the praising. But I honestly didn't because I feel for my classmates. I want them to succeed with this but if they're not putting up any fight, I'd eat them up whole...

Me and my dictatorial democracy.

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